May 7, 2008 6:02 pm US/Eastern
What Is Your "Love Personality?"
MIAMI (CBS4) ―
What is your love personality?
"I would say I'm the leader," Robert Bayvle says sitting with his wife Deborah.
"Is that true?" asked
CBS4 Dr. Sean Kenniff.
"I think so," the wife replied.
A new relationship theory suggests the reason some couples clash while others complement is 'chemistry'— but the chemistry inside your brain.
The theory claims there are four different personality types based on brain chemistry.
'The Builder', 'The Explorer', 'The Director', and 'The Negotiator'.
Let's start with 'The Builder': they're governed by the feel-good brain chemical serotonin. They're calm, managerial, and homebodies, but they can be pleasingly social. Family and relationship therapist Rosemary Barreras says that can sometimes be a good thing.
"You're always on solid ground," she explained. "You know what you're going to get."
But Dan Silverman of Miami Dating Coach said that predictability can be romantically boring.
"There needs to be that unpredictable element in a relationship to really make it work," he added.
That brings us to 'The Explorer': they're governed by the novelty-loving brain chemical dopamine. Explorers are risk takers, they can be spontaneous, but flighty.
Giovanna Rivera says she fits that description, "I get bored really easily."
"It's hard to keep these people settled down," Silverman says, "but they're the most fun because they are always doing something new."
Then there are 'The Directors': driven by Testosterone-- Directors are focused, rational, daring and direct. But they can be bossy.
"Control freaks, my way or the highway kind of people," Barreras says.
And finally, 'The Negotiator': fueled by the female hormone estrogen. They are socially skilled, sympathetic, idealistic peacemakers.
"The person who can really put themselves in your shoes, really wants to come and make everything right," Barreras says, adding men can be Negotiators too.
Natalie Montejo claims she is a classic negotiator. "I'm the peacemaker. I don't like to fight," she says.
And the theory suggests your brain chemistry could hold the key to your dating destiny.
For instance builders are best matched with 'Explorers', but make lousy matches with those bossy directors.
'Explorers' should ground themselves with builders, but they might want to dump directors.
'Directors' often need a 'Negotiator' in their lives, and they make the worst match with 'Builders'.
And for 'Negotiators' there are no bad matches. They can get along with any other type.
"I think I've dated probably all types," says Rosalyn Katty, a single 'Negotiator'.
But remember love is rarely a perfect fit.
"Sometimes you can't make things as efficient as possible in a relationship," Silverman says, "because relationships are grounded in emotion, not logic."
And Barreras says, even a 'love personality' mismatch can still be your 'perfect match'.
"I've seen all types of people that I think would never match, and they end up doing great together," she says.
To find out your "love personality",
Take The TestClick Here to find out more about "love personalities."
FOR RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING Rosemary Barreras, LMFT
Florida Therapy Associates1000 North Hiatus Road, Suite 200
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026
954-885-5528
FOR DATING ADVICE AND TIPS Dan Silverman
Miami Dating Coach 1390 S. Dixie Hwy, Suite 2102
Coral Gables, Fl 33146
305-742-5334
(© MMIX, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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